AM-113 Blame Game

I need to unburden myself....so please bear with me....please be gentle...I bruise very easily...

A collection of thoughts I feel might be relevant to the show. The airplane scene has significance in the sense that all dreams reveal the unstated, unconscious feelings and hopes of the dreamer....In this case the dreamer is ally, and we are allowed access to her true feelings, albeit for a short period of time...In the dream sequence, she reveals her continuing distaste of her personal view of Richard Fish. Her dream involves her being in the coach section. Why? Because Richard is paying for it.......and since he is so money oriented, he must by necessity be extremely frugal too......This personal view that Richard is greedy is not unwarranted...but we see her personal distortion of reality...Yes, Richard is greedy, but if he was really frugal, would he have an office building stinking of "avante riche" to impress clients..Maybe her personal reality is true, then maybe again, her reality is naturally skewed...

Then her dream expresses her hope of getting Billy back in the best way possible...If Georgia dies in a plane accident, she would have Billy, without messing up her own hands...Ally would get Billy by an act of God, and not by stealing him...Billy would also be able to go to Ally without recriminations...and without breaking up with Georgia....Though distasteful, one should realize that your unconscious state is not quite as moral as your conscious state. Action, not thought determines a person's moral position...If a man or woman was arrested for unclean thoughts or for wanting another person dead, no one will be free....But Ally acknowledges a personal discomfort with her realization that she may not be perfectly moral... It reminds me very strongly of how uncomfortable people are with the results of a test with subjects, a supervisor, and lethal doses of electricity...Though the results indicate something unpleasant about the human condition, most people flinch at seeing the truth.

Now, when ally meets Glen, she is understandably upset by two things...One, that he did not go away as he promised....Deep down, she decided to sleep with him partly because she believed he will be a one-night stand...But there he stands, reminding her of her weakness.Two, she was upset because she perceived that he lied to her...Everyone dislikes being lied to...Regardless of whether he lied or not, she believes he lied, and that is sufficient reason enough to get upset...She believes that he used a line, and women dislike being fooled by lines.....

John's performance is understated brilliance as ever....very dramatic and his interesting phrase "This jury pleases me" has an melodic impact, as well as a cognitive one....

When ally meets Glen again, she unconsciously uses a Fishism, in short paying tribute to Richard...She may think she dislikes Richard, but in fact she, in my opinion does not.....Have you ever used a phrase that a person you dislike uses???Of course not....Remember, unconsciously, she has every reason to respect him...He hired her, he was courteous to her, and he tries his best to make feel at home....

Ally was giving the chill to Glen, because she felt he did the wrong, when he suddenly revealed something that gave her pause...The truth is, she used him as a one night stand, but she didn't realize he knew it too...If he knew he was a one night stand, and acted accordingly, then his actions of not calling, though not forgivable is understandable and consequently condoned....

DEK once again decides to express interesting insights into interpersonal behaviors and norms..... One, the chasm between the unconscious and the conscious mind....

Two, the deleterious effects of lies, perceived or otherwise on the viability of any relationship...and the subtle consequences of maintaining a lie in order not to be caught...Glen implicitly created a persona of a nice guy, and when caught, he had to go out with her again to prove to her that he really was a nice guy....This is only an opinion...Ally lied to him when asked if this was a one night stand, and when confronted with contradicting her own lie, decided to keep the lie alive...

Three, the complex nature of language, and its various meanings contextually. When ally responds to Georgia's question, she failed to realize her answer would be filtered through a number of contextual info that would result in the answer being totally different. Language at best, is an imperfect tool of communication...Very flawed....

Classic Fish line....."People are dead.. There's money" DEK revels in making Fish ostentatiously a greedy person...The question is, is that all he is?? Once again the baby dances again....In my earlier posting, I explained the significance of the dancing baby and the nesting response.... When the biological ticks, they unconsciously begin to look for suitable mates to nest.......

When ally comes back from making whoopee, the others realize that she has had lust....there is a validity to this response....After lust, there exists a number of aftereffects..A discoloration in the cheeks, a slight change in body odor, and slightly different nonverbal body language.....These differences exist but are difficult for the untrained or non-perceptive eye to see....Almost like micro-expressions.....People trained to see it, or who are perceptually alert to these things will see it...

Here is where Billy's reaction takes place...One must understand that in any relationship, functional or lapsed, certain conditions still exist. In a lapsed relationship, if it was a cordial one, a certain possessiveness still lingers....Communication, on a nonverbal and verbal level, still exists that cannot be explained away...A couple I am familiar with broke up 5 years ago, but when they are together their nonverbal behavior patterns are intimate enough to fool those who do not know them.... A stranger seeing them would think they are a couple....

jealousy also exists......even though any right to those feelings ascribed to above was legally lost when the relationship was ended....Feelings never truly disappear, they just weaken over time.....A problem also arises over boundaries between former lovers..Are there boundaries.....?Billy's response to his jealousy, and Ally's response rings sufficiently true......Both have unresolved feelings which interfere and distort responses. John' s need to suspend dating is the first legitimate expression of his feelings.....Though there is a certain degree of dishonesty in dating, the essential thing is that the couple in question do not know the dishonesty. John knows and this makes things different....Also, he might feel some form of threat from being compared to a well endowed model and so he acts appropriately to eliminate this problem......

Is it rue that couples tend to communicate less as time passes??? Yes, I think so.....In the beginning of any relationship, a couple is forced to communicate in order to understand the other.....This is a natural response when confronted with a mystery........it also helps that in the beginning of any relationship, there is a high degree of passion about the other, and this passion fosters an almost obsessive need to know the other....This not necessarily true for all relationships....Degrees of communication differ. What is true, is that all relationships begin to diminish in communication as time passes.. This is a natural result of the change in the

relationship.....The relationship changes from one based on passion to one based on friendship on companionship... One becomes comfortable, and begins to take the other for granted............Communication tends to be reduce as time passes.....What is also true is that all relationships require communication to remain viable.....relationships that have little or no communication will devolve from a primary to a secondary relationship......A look at your personal past will reveal this truth....Your primary relationships with friend from high school or college, tended to fade in importance as you begin to stop communicating with one another....The condition of intimacy requires two things...Continuous communication and shared experiences..These two factors combine to make a relationship intimate.... The reason you are no longer close to your friends in high school or college is simple....NO more shared experiences and no more communication......

By Kenny Lee (thanos001@aol.com)
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Sara Evans

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