Ally McBeal airs Monday, 9-10PM on FOX All times listed are for the Pacific time zone


About This Site
Ally Addiction
Fan Fiction
In Print
Stress Reduction

Ally McBeal
Ally McBeal UK
Calista Flockhart

E-Mail Me
Sign Guestbook
View Guestbook


The Practice

Cage/Fish & Associates

Ally Addiction

Top 10 Signs You're Addicted to Ally McBeal - August 28,1998

***Self included

*** 10. You watch other programs associated with David E. Kelley
*** 9. You have a theme song.
*** 8. You use the Ally McBeal Stress Reduction Kit when Ally McBeal isn't on to deal with your Ally withdrawal.
*** 7. You constantly search for "Ally McBeal" on the Internet.
*** 6. You create an Ally McBeal Website.
*** 5. You watch the last 15 minutes of program that airs prior to Ally, even though you may not like the show.
4. You program two or more VCRs to record Ally McBeal
*** 3. You unconsciously quote phrases from Ally McBeal.
2. You watch other FOX programs, even though you may not like them, hoping to see a commercial for Ally McBeal.
*** 1. You feel weekends are too long.

More Ally Addictions

***Self included

  • ***You can sing "Searchin' My Soul", not like the CD-quality version, but the way it sounds when it is broadcast at the start of the show, complete with all the additional vocalizations ("yeah", "baa-bay","ohhhhheeey",etc.).
  • ***You can sing the Calista Flockhart version of "Searchin' My Soul" and you know what episode it was sung in.
  • ***You know what other episodes featured the song "Searchin' My Soul"
  • ***You can assiciate song titles with episode titles.
  • ***You can associate episode titles with plots.
  • ***Songs From Ally McBeal is always playing on your stereo
  • ***You say something cool, and then immediately after that you say "yourlastname-ism" (Fishism, McBealism, etc.)
  • ***You use quotes from the show whenever possible.
  • ***You took time out of your non-ally-watching-time to read this page.
  • ***You play all the songs from the show in your head when you're bored.
  • ***You watch The Practice hoping that Bobby will mention Ally
  • ***You are constantly thinking about Ally McBeal, every second of the day. (I am nothing, if not redundant. I also repeat myself)
  • ***You know who said the quote in the previous sign of addiction.
  • You call your restroom the "Unisex"
  • You have pips.
  • You go into McDonalds and ask for the "McBeal Meal" or "Ally McBeal Deal Meal."
  • You get a copy of the 1998 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue and flip page by page looking for the Ally McBeal advertisement, while skipping the pictures of all the models in swimsuits.
  • You keep thinking about Ally's PJs and you can't sleep without them.
  • You are so addicted, that you didn't even notice that I don't have anything here because you were thinking about Ally.
  • You dance in the middle of the street in your PJs while it's snowing.
  • You look under the toilet stalls to see if anyone's using them before spilling juicy secrets.
  • You cross out Monday on your calendar and replace it with "McBealDay."
  • You call your friends Ally McBeal character names.
  • You see Dancing Babies.
  • You see Dancing Babies, and you dance with them.
  • You go out and but a cheesy disco CD just because it has Hooked on a Feeling on it and you can't listen to it without dancing in your PJ's.
  • You see transparent baby throwing a spear at you.
  • You grow at people. (Submitted by "Doggie")

Ok. So, you're addicted...

Based on the list above or an analysis of your personal behavior, you've determined that you are addicted to Ally McBeal. The question is, do you want to do anything about it? What could you do about it? Nothing. This show is too good. The only way is to quit cold turkey. Then again, why quit? There's nothing wrong with being Ally addiction.

If Ally has affected your life so much, that you can't work, then you may need to seek help. Just don't go to John's Smile Therapist. She's a wacko. (Oh, no. Unconscious use of a quote.) If you have figured out a way to recover from Ally Addiction, and you still enjoy watching the show, please e-mail me. I'll post it on this site. You could help someone get over their Ally Addiction.

Sandy Fox ( (1/16/01) - "Email -- I like to hear from you!"

  1. You want to kill Robert Downy Junior's(Larry's) ex-wife through the TV when she comes on the show because Ally finally has a really hot guy!
  2. Robert Downy Jr takes your breath away.
  3. You watch Boston Public before Ally just so you can see the commercial for that nights episode that you have seen since 10 PM last Monday.
  4. You have the theme song stuck in your head 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
  5. You constantly are on Ally McBeal sites , and ignore your friends instant messages.
  6. You cry when you see the previews with Larry leaving. (I do)
  7. You need new glasses and want the same exact ones as Larry. (I am getting new glasses and thats what I want. LOL)
  8. You watch FOX all the time just to see a preview of next weeks episode.
  9. You try to destroy your TV every time you see a repeat because last weeks left you hanging so much!!
  10. Tears of joy come out of your weeping eyes every time Ally gets a good kiss from Ally.
  11. You go up to the TV and call Ling a bitch to her face.
  12. You use quotes from the show such as my personal favorite, "You are the biggest ass I have ever met."- Ally
  13. You made a snowman that looks like larry and you have it frozen in a freezer in your room!
  14. You are actually reading the crap I have to say
  15. you want to become a lawyer-like me but im only 12 so i can wait ill probably change my mind...
  16. Your friends have to slap you to get you to shut up about ally
  17. You make your friends watch it
  18. You tape it and then pause it at the juicy parts!
  19. You fall out of elevators.
  20. You know that Taye Diggs appeared in the original cast of RENT on broadway-my favorite broadway show! he played benny!
  21. OMG Renee and Taye are so having sex!
  22. "You stuck me in a freezer".
  23. 'Does forever work for you?"
  24. You follow the RDJ case.
  25. Send me mail at either or Kasandra2424@AOL.COM i like to hear from you and chat
  26. You go to the aol member directory and look up "Ally Mcbeal"
  27. Worst of all, after you find the other allyheads on aol, you add them all to your buddie list....(i dont even do that so if you do, go see a therapist...i think your ill)
  28. Your addicted when you do all of these things
  29. Your profile is one big ally threshold of quotes!
  30. You've been having dreams about horney nuns.
  31. You mourn when Ally isn't on.
  32. You tape EVERY episode.
  33. You don't even care about the other people on the show...its juss ally ally and ally!
  34. You purposly want to become part of the Downy jury so you can vote him not guilty and have him on the show!

Nicki - How To Tell I You Are Addicted To Ally (5/26/00)

  1. You go around Sears buying all the PJ's with little lambs on them and claim you're making curtians 
  2. When you mess up you say "bygones" 
  3. You have taught yourself to master the "nosewhistle" and to do a dismount from a bathroom stall. 
  4. When you go eat you ask for an extra chair for your "baby" (ooga chucka) 
  5. You have a crazy notion to hit your boss with your shoe. 
  6. You see little people dancing pr hear music when no one else does. 
  7. You can't wait for Mondays. 
  8. You have a theme song. 
  9. You try to get your friends and family to have a theme song. 
  10. And the top way to know if you addicted to Ally: You're actually taking the time to read this list and all the others :) 
  11. BONUS: Is there anything wrong with being addicted? I think not. Bygones...

Julian Becker (12/18/99)

What to do..Ally McBeal is the best.
Well frankly: If you are addicted to Ally McBeal, do you really wanna get rid of it. of course the only thing to do would be go to a real court with a judge like whipper. Or become a lawyer. It unfortunately takes all the fun outta Ally, trust me.
Oh and I love you site. Especially the music section

10 Ways to Get Over Ally (but why would anyone want to?!) by Melanie Pentecost (

  1. Watch "Matlock"
    Seeing an old man instead of Calista Flockhart might turn you off lawyers.
  2. Get involved in spare time activities
    You'll be too busy saving the world to remember that you need Ally. Just don't join a Ally McBeal fanclub!
  3. Use the Ally McBeal Stress Reduction kit
    What! You might say. It's her product! Trust me, bang your head hard enough and you'll forget all about her.
  4. Watch other FOX shows
    None compare the the glory that is Ally, besides, those specials they air will turn you off FOX completely.
  5. Take kickboxing classes
    Vents frustration and takes your mind off things. Just don't get in the ring with Renee!
  6. Baby-sit
    Real babies are waaay different from that spear chucking, roller-blading, dancing baby.
  7. Watch only Michelle Phifier movies
    Know so much about her that you'll forget everything about her husband. What's-his-name Kelley?
  8. Become Ling
    She hardly shows interest in anything
  9. Become Elaine
    Shows interest in everything. You'll be too busy finding out your co-worker's lovelives you won't have time for Ally.
  10. Become weirder than Ally McBeal
    Look what it did for me!

10 Steps to Recovery, by Mary Ann MacCombie (

  1. Recognize the higher power of David E. Kelley.
  2. Separate fiction from reality.
  3. Go to a chat room and just try to discuss the series.
  4. Write your own episode.
  5. Read a John Grisham novel.
  6. Go to a lesbian bar and just try to discuss the series.
  7. Work in a law firm.
  8. Watch Monday Night Football.
  9. Go to a drug rehab center and just try to discuss the series.
  10. Date an attorney.

6 Days and 23 Hours

Feeling Ally withdrawal symptoms? What does an Ally Addict do during the time when Ally isn't on? Even worse, when there is a rerun, it's 13 Days or even 20 Days and 23 hours. Here are some of the things you can do:

  • Record the show and re-watch it many times
  • Go online and search for Ally McBeal (See Top 10 above)
  • Find friends who are interested and talk with them
  • Create a WebSite (Sounds like me)
  • Join the Ally McBeal newsgroup (
  • Join the Ally McBeal mailing list
  • Watch The Practice (ABC Sunday 10PM - Another great show about law by David E. Kelley.)
  • Go buy a Vonda Shepard CD and listen to it repeatedly.
  • Go buy Songs From Ally McBeal and have it playing on random and repeat.

Thank you for reading this. It is my attempt at humor. Hope you like it. Any suggestions for this page, or anything else on my site may be sent to If it's good, I will put it on my site.

1. Legal Notice: "Ally McBeal" TM and (or copyright) Fox and its related companies. All rights reserved. Any reproduction, duplication, or distribution in any form is expressly prohibited.; and

2. Disclaimer: This web site, its operators, and any content contained on this site relating to "Ally McBeal" are not authorized by Fox.

Sara Evans
Sara Evans

1. Legal Notice: "Ally McBeal" TM and (or copyright) Fox and its related companies. All rights reserved. Any reproduction, duplication, or distribution in any form is expressly prohibited.; and

2. Disclaimer: This web site, its operators, and any content contained on this site relating to "Ally McBeal" are not authorized by Fox.

Copyright 1998-2001 Arthur Tham . All rights reserved.
Main URL -